I just wanted to find happiness my whole life. I never really knew where to look for it. I thought I had found it in a girl last year.
But, while we snuck around for several months and were low key a couple for a bit.. that wasn’t happiness. That was fulfilling a dream that the seventeen year old version of me had. Five years later, that was the worst dream I had ever chased and to this day I still regret. I could have invested that time and effort in a actual good person not an awful person who would go on to use me for a few of my contacts until I cut her off. It was after that whole month and a half of being official and over six months of being unofficial I realized that I can’t find happiness in people and my dreams and goals cannot be tied in with people. Only I can control my own happiness and dreams and I’ve started to find it.
I go out a lot more than I used to. When I say go out, I don’t mean my history of forgettable weekend parties of the teenage years. I mean going out to places I like to go. Like out with the guys for a few drinks, or out to support my friends in their bands, and having a bunch of summer plans like concerts and beach trips.