I feel weak. I feel powerless. I feel numb.
I’m almost certain anorexia has come back and I feel like I’m losing control a little bit. I try to keep myself as together and composed as possible but I know I’m struggling deep down.
I still can ride but I feel very weak afterwards and nap for a while when I come back.
I’ve grown difficulty eating again and trying to match the daily 4,000+ calories I need and it’s why I’m failing. My hair is also falling out and thinning. Why do I do these things to myself?