I was having this talk with a friend of mine. She’s going through a difficult time in her life. I’m not really good at giving advice but the thing I told her was that “Nothing lasts forever”. Good or bad, it’s the truth. She’s not in a good place right now but it won’t be forever. She has a boyfriend that absolutely loves her, going to graduate college in the next year or so, and is trying to apply for a government job (I gave her a little bit of help, telling her where to apply for a government job that fits her career – she’s involved in medical and psychology).
I say “nothing lasts forever” quite a bit. It’s almost like my motto. A couple can be married for 50 years until one of them passes away. That’s a lifetime, but not forever.
I look at the little things in my life, like cycling. A lot of people who’ve known me for years thought I’d grow old and be a cyclist until I couldn’t do it anymore. But, every once in a while friends will ask me about my cyclist life and what I plan to do with it in time. People are stunned that I project I’ll be completely disconnected from it in three years or less because I want to retire from it while I can still walk. Cycling won’t be forever for me. It will be ten and a half years at the very most. But, it will still be nice to say I was a cyclist for a decade through the core of my teens and through my early twenties.
I have friends who have dated several years and known each other longer than they’ve dated. I have friends that are dating each other and I hear what each of them say when they’re not next to each other. The girl will talk about getting married and having a kid and even their first home together. The guy will be like “we’ll probably get married one day”, but it doesn’t go much beyond that as we sit there drinking our beer. Maybe I’m just a typical dude that doesn’t look that far in the future. Partially because it’s a scary place, partially because events change the way people look at each other.
Unrelated rant: The thought of “nothing lasts forever” lives with me. It’s why I never talk about the future if I’m dating someone. The way I feel in a specific moment definitely won’t be the same in the future. Even thinking back to my recent relationship that ended.. I was in love at first because I dated the girl I always wanted to date. But, after a while.. before everything came out, I went along with it but didn’t feel much of anything towards the end. We were two very different people and it became very clear. I had a direction for a future and a career and I knew what I wanted to do where as she just hoped that someone would discover her “talent” while she was busking or something. She solely relied on being discovered whereas I went to my current job with my blog entries and my cycling archive to show the kind of things I’m capable of doing and let them decide if I was worth bringing on board. Hell, I even showed her how to apply for a job where I work but she declined it because it “sabotaged her dream”. I wish her the best, but I’m not going to do anything to help her or her future.