The lessons I learned in the break up.

The break up’s been hard. Really hard. It’s bad enough finding out that there were more than the original four guys I found out about that she cheated on me with in the six weeks. It’s harder because we were friends for five years. It’s sad in a lot of ways trying to watch her justify her cheating on me with more than half dozen guys in six weeks. I get it, you wanted to be a slut and I tied you down. You could have just said that when we were talking about dating in November. I don’t judge people, but I wouldn’t have wasted my time had I known.

This whole thing taught me a lot of bitter lessons.

– If something seems sketchy.. it probably is. At first, she was real cozy with me. But after the new year started, she seemed very distant. It didn’t seem right. Now I know why.

– Don’t always give people benefit of the doubt. If something feels like it’s occurring more than once, definitely ask about it. That’s how I found out she was cheating on me. She came clean because I figured it out and stopped giving her benefit of the doubt.

– You may love them, but they may not love you back. I loved her for a long time. Even before we dated. I cared about her more than any guy ever did and I was one of the few that treated her really well (I know her dating history.. and it’s not pretty). I wanted to give her the world and buy her nice things because I have a good job and she doesn’t. But, she didn’t love me like I thought she did. She just used me. Thankfully, I discovered this before Valentines Day and her birthday so I didn’t give her what I planned (combined, she would have gotten a ticket to three concerts, a jean jacket like mine, and a dozen roses — two of the three tickets have since been sold).

– If your significant other becomes verbally abusive, there’s probably a reason. When we first started dating, she was very sweet. But as weeks passed, she changed. She said a lot of things that became very hurtful and made me question my own existence at one point. She also attacked several of my insecurities that she knew were sensitive for me and would make me feel bad about myself. I think that deep down, she was just trying to get rid of me.

– Just because you’re dating, doesn’t mean you automatically have to trust them. I learned this the hard way. I can’t trust her anymore. Even as a friend. I can’t and I won’t. Who’s to say she wouldn’t try and screw me over again? I take risks every day of my life, but they’re calculated. I’d rather take my chances of riding my bicycle when it’s below zero and get hypothermia than take chances with her again. It’s also hard to be friends with someone not a single one of your friends like.


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