The break up (and the storm that followed).

It was early Sunday afternoon. I was a little out of it from the night before because I went out with some friends.

I was sitting on a chair in my office and two of my friends were with me. Me and her were talking about the parties we attended and I noticed on Snapchat she was with a guy and they looked too close to be just friends and I called her out on it.

A little while later, she called me and admitted that she cheated on me. Not just with him, but with three other guys as well. It was in that moment I just went numb. Because I don’t yell, I do the exact opposite and that is talk very low and sad. It’s almost like my universal symbol for being upset.

She said she cheated on me so that it would force a break up because she was not feeling a spark anymore and never really did but didn’t want to hurt my feelings by simply breaking it off. She still wants to remain friends though. I don’t see how that is possible when someone betrays you like that.

But, I never yelled or let her have it (despite her even saying she deserved it). My friends said she deserved it too and knew I wouldn’t. So.. my friends took action on my behalf and let her have it. I do not know exactly who (besides two people – a close friend of mine, and an ex of mine from several years ago) let her have it, but apparently there was enough people that her mom texted me and congratulated me on having my friends “gang up” on her despite me having nothing to do with it.

Her and I were still talking after the break up, but at times I couldn’t and my friends would take my phone and text her never giving their real identities. They never said anything threatening, just about how I was taking the break up. She still texts me, and I still respond occasionally but it’s at that point where any feeling with her now is just numbness. Kinda like that feeling when you’re getting a cavity filled and given Novocaine. It’s that feeling.

Deep down, every part of me wants nothing to do with her and I cannot forgive her actions. It will be a scar that lasts a lifetime.

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